Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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