You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
