Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
