i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
