You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
