I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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