connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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