also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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