I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
