I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
