Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
