Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
