Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
