your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My balls are so social today.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
