Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
