watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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