farters have to be the big spoon...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
