are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
