Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
