How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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