I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need a burrito and a hug.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
