can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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