when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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