Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
