Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
