Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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