The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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