my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
