All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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