nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
