one two three fourrrrnication!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
