how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
