I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I still have a little drunk in my system
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
