Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
