No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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