Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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