Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
