ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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