Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
