Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
