I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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