She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
