if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
