If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
