Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
