How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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