She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
