she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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