if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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