Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
