she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
